Tuesday, August 14, 2007
You may not know this, but I work in the exciting field of corporate litigation! Maybe that’s why I like Elizabeth Duke’s Fair Trial so much. Although now that I think of it, nothing THIS exciting happens at my job. Fair Trial is set in Australia and is from Harlequin’s “First Class” series, which promises to take the reader to all sorts of exotic locales. The weird thing about “First Class” though, is that many Harleys are set worldwide already (need I remind you of The Eagle and The Sun?!). I don’t think they needed a special series just to do that.
Let’s not quibble about details, though. I must say, I really enjoy Fair Trial – there’s actually a little bit of believable character development and it’s not SUPER cheesy, but it’s still entertaining. You learn a lot about Australian foliage, too!
Tanya Barrington, a lawyer in Melbourne, is a true city girl and comes from a wealthy family. In fact, her father is a highly respected local judge. She’s not too thrilled to be paired up with dashing yet arrogant Simon Devlin on a case - and it doesn’t seem like he’s too excited either. Simon is originally from the bush and put himself through law school. He thinks Tanya’s a flighty gal who only got into the legal field because her of her influential father. He’s got no time for rich girls who won’t put in the work on a case because they’re too busy partying.
So the two have to prepare a brief for court and the only time they’ll be able to work on it is over the weekend. However, Simon’s already got weekend plans at his second house in the country, so he informs Tanya that she’ll just have to go over there with him for a weekend jaunt. (The phrase for going to the country is “go bush”, by the way. Learn it. Use it. Love it.) Well, Tanya’s not about to let that crazy lout push her around and she informs him she has important plans for the weekend (something like playing tennis with her richie –rich friends). Eventually she gives in, though, because otherwise the plot would go nowhere.
Come Friday after work, they head out in Simon’s luxurious-but-not-ostentatious car and make a late stop for dinner at a pub. Simon thinks Tanya won’t set foot in one, but she’s game to give it a try. She grudgingly enjoys her giant piece of steak and ale. They even chuckle over the Cosby Show playing on the bar TV. Then they get back on the road. By now it’s dark, the road is really curvy, and it’s raining. Tanya’s worried that they’ll never get to their destination (which she is imagining to be a dilapidated shack in the woods), although if I were her, I’d be more worried that Simon’s a psycho killer. That doesn’t seem to occur to her, though.
Finally, they pull up to a house in the woods – the lights are on and literally, no one is home. Tanya starts to think maybe Simon’s married which would be a relief to her. (Of course, she’s quite virginal.) But no, Simon’s sister stops by and turns on lights for him and such. Now if Harlequins have taught us anything, it’s that any guy worth his salt has an awesome bachelor pad. Simon is no exception. His house is very modern and nicely built and decorated, with plenty of guest rooms and bathrooms, a huge living room with large windows, what have you. Tanya is duly impressed.
Since it’s late, she decides to unpack and take a shower. She gets undressed and yanks open the shower curtain to turn on the faucet. BUT – there’s a tarantula in the shower! Well, she does what just about anyone would do and screams. Not surprisingly, this sends Simon running to check on her and again not surprisingly, she hasn’t had time to grab a towel first. Of course, after his eyes have memorized every tantalizing curve of her youthful body, THEN she covers up and points out the spider. Turns out it’s a harmless little creature and Simon assures her you just get used to them. (Tanya vehemently announces that she never would get used to them and I AM WITH HER ON THAT!)
The weekend continues on with more hijinks and hilarity. A couple that Simon knows is joining them on Saturday as well as a local woman named Dimity Donahue, who is totally jonesing for Simon. She constantly tries to focus only on him, but he is a conscientious host and makes sure to include all of his guests in conversations. The group goes for walks on Simon’s property, and Tanya almost gets bitten by a snake when she strays from the safety of the path. Oops! On Saturday evening the group goes to a gala affair where Simon is a featured speaker. Naturally, his speech is interesting and humorous, while the other speaker is about as exciting as day old bread.
By this time Tanya’s realizing that maybe Simon’s pretty dreamy and he is rich, but their personalities are still clashing. Simon doesn’t seem to think that Tanya can handle any outdoorsy challenge, so he decides to take her mountain climbing the next day. (The best part is that when he asks if she brought boots, she whips out some fancy leather high heeled things. Seriously, even I know what hiking boots are.) Off they climb, and Tanya does much better than Simon ever would’ve thought, and we also learn the Simon has a real tree fascination.
On Sunday evening, they head back. Of course, the case goes on and on so there are plenty of opportunities to spend time with each other. They start to realize they have more in common than they would’ve thought – they both enjoy music (Simon plays the piano and Tanya the violin) and they go to a concert and an art show. Tanya begins to dislike spending time with her superficial gang of friends – she goes to a party but heads out early when some schmuck starts to hit on her, and she refuses to see Nick Manning-Smith again, even though her father assures her that he’s a real up-and-comer in high society. (Unbeknownst to Daddy, however, is that Mr. Manning-Smith was not very respectful of our Tanya’s boundaries and said she was “frigid”.)
One thing interesting about this Harlequin is that about two-thirds of the way through the book, Tanya and Simon realize they are attracted to each other and actually admit it. Usually the big revelation comes at the tail end, so Elizabeth Duke does mix it up a little bit. However, the two aren’t sure if they’ll ever be able to make it work due to their differences. Simon is set on raising his future children in the bush, and Tanya doesn’t think she could ever give up city life. They even come up with some ways that they could both compromise so that they could be together. The problem is that Tanya’s high-status parents probably wouldn’t be too keen on her dating a country boy like Simon. And he has made it clear that he has no interest in pandering to the Melbourne elite, including Justice Barrington. Of course, there’s a whole backstory here that explains just why Simon so loathes the rich folk he works with and also some secrets about Simon’s family, not to mention plenty of romance and misunderstandings to keep things interesting. Can these two legal lovebirds find a way to settle their differences out of court, or will the judge declare a mistrial? Find out in Fair Trial!
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
Sharp as a bowling ball
Thursday, June 28, 2007
Roz Denny could be considered a fairly tried and true Harlequin author – after all, she wrote The Cinderella Coach which easily makes my Top 5 Harlequins list. Another Denny favorite is Red Hot Pepper which isn’t quite as entertaining (I’d much rather read about float building than army brats) but is still a pretty good read. So I was pretty excited to find another Roz Denny book at the used bookstore, especially when I realized it was from the “Back to the Ranch” series. The only other “Back to the Ranch” book I’ve read is The Bad Penny by Susan Fox, but it’s a good quality Harley and I enjoy re-reading it. It makes ranching actually seem interesting! (I’ll do a proper review eventually.)
Long story short, I had high hopes for Stubborn as a Mule. Unfortunately, it’s a little lacking. The heroine, Franzi DeLisle (and yes, the name gets more annoying every time you see it), operates a mule ranch in California. She has had bad experiences with law enforcement officials (her dad, brother, and uncle were all officers and are now dead) and just will not let you forget it. It gets really tiresome reading about how lawmen just can’t be trusted, they only think of themselves, blah blah blah. Franzi, it’s called a therapist. Look into it.
Enter Levi Hunter, LAWMAN! Jeez, who could’ve called that one?! Turns out there’s some escaped con on the loose in the mountains, and he steals one of the DeLisle mules (don’t worry, it’s not Franzi) and takes off into the hills to hide. Well, Franzi is not about to let one officer Hunter go up there without her because she is a TRACKING EXPERT (another thing she likes to blather on about a lot). They take off on two of Franzi's best mules to capture the bad guy. This whole tracking thing goes on for a good portion of the book so it just gets old. There’s only Franzi and Levi the whole time, and Franzi, well, kind of bugs. She’s always arguing with the guy, and quite honestly, I don’t know if he deserves ALL of her crap. It’s just because she’s stubborn, get it? As a mule. But she just will not let him get the last word about anything, even after he very nicely tends to her wounds when a large mountain cat attacks her (yep). So those two just keep bickering for about 70 pages while nothing very exciting happens. (I’m pretty sure the mountain cat attack is supposed to be exciting but it’s kind of not.)
(As an aside, I think this is my big gripe about The Lost Moon Flower by Bethany Campbell. In that book, Josie Talbot hires Aaron Whitewater to help her find a stolen rare panda that was taken to a minor Hawaiian island with pretty much no one on it. The two hike through the crazy jungle to sneak up on the thief and that’s about two-thirds of the book right there. It gets dull because there are no other people to interact with, no changing locations, no new activities. I mean, you can only get so far on scenery and “chemistry”. Note to Harlequin authors: supporting characters = good!)
ANYWAY. Naturally, Franzi finds herself drawn to Hunter against her better judgment. There’s just something about that guy! He actually seems to have some feelings and is pretty foxy, too. And sometimes he’s right about a few things. (I pretty much wanted him to win every argument only because she’s so irritating.)
This continues on until the two goobers realize that the trail the con has taken leads directly back to the DeLisle ranch. Franzi is concerned because her dead brother’s pregnant possibly-wife (seriously, don’t even ask) is back at the house alone and who knows what that crazy guy will do to her. He takes her hostage, as it turns out. Hunter has things pretty much under control, but stupid Franzi can’t bear to take any orders from some darn officer, so she has to go and do her own thing and wouldn’t you know it? Makes a big old mess out of everything. By the end of the book I was pretty fed up with her and kind of didn’t care if she got shot by that loon or not.
Can you tell I didn’t really like Stubborn as a Mule? It’s probably not as terrible as I’m making it out to be, but I have to say: it took way too long to get going and then when it finally got kind of interesting, it was ruined almost immediately by the frustrating ending. I just don’t feel like I can wholeheartedly recommend this one. Just read The Cinderella Coach instead! It is vintage Denny.
Roz Denny could be considered a fairly tried and true Harlequin author – after all, she wrote The Cinderella Coach which easily makes my Top 5 Harlequins list. Another Denny favorite is Red Hot Pepper which isn’t quite as entertaining (I’d much rather read about float building than army brats) but is still a pretty good read. So I was pretty excited to find another Roz Denny book at the used bookstore, especially when I realized it was from the “Back to the Ranch” series. The only other “Back to the Ranch” book I’ve read is The Bad Penny by Susan Fox, but it’s a good quality Harley and I enjoy re-reading it. It makes ranching actually seem interesting! (I’ll do a proper review eventually.)
Long story short, I had high hopes for Stubborn as a Mule. Unfortunately, it’s a little lacking. The heroine, Franzi DeLisle (and yes, the name gets more annoying every time you see it), operates a mule ranch in California. She has had bad experiences with law enforcement officials (her dad, brother, and uncle were all officers and are now dead) and just will not let you forget it. It gets really tiresome reading about how lawmen just can’t be trusted, they only think of themselves, blah blah blah. Franzi, it’s called a therapist. Look into it.
Enter Levi Hunter, LAWMAN! Jeez, who could’ve called that one?! Turns out there’s some escaped con on the loose in the mountains, and he steals one of the DeLisle mules (don’t worry, it’s not Franzi) and takes off into the hills to hide. Well, Franzi is not about to let one officer Hunter go up there without her because she is a TRACKING EXPERT (another thing she likes to blather on about a lot). They take off on two of Franzi's best mules to capture the bad guy. This whole tracking thing goes on for a good portion of the book so it just gets old. There’s only Franzi and Levi the whole time, and Franzi, well, kind of bugs. She’s always arguing with the guy, and quite honestly, I don’t know if he deserves ALL of her crap. It’s just because she’s stubborn, get it? As a mule. But she just will not let him get the last word about anything, even after he very nicely tends to her wounds when a large mountain cat attacks her (yep). So those two just keep bickering for about 70 pages while nothing very exciting happens. (I’m pretty sure the mountain cat attack is supposed to be exciting but it’s kind of not.)
(As an aside, I think this is my big gripe about The Lost Moon Flower by Bethany Campbell. In that book, Josie Talbot hires Aaron Whitewater to help her find a stolen rare panda that was taken to a minor Hawaiian island with pretty much no one on it. The two hike through the crazy jungle to sneak up on the thief and that’s about two-thirds of the book right there. It gets dull because there are no other people to interact with, no changing locations, no new activities. I mean, you can only get so far on scenery and “chemistry”. Note to Harlequin authors: supporting characters = good!)
ANYWAY. Naturally, Franzi finds herself drawn to Hunter against her better judgment. There’s just something about that guy! He actually seems to have some feelings and is pretty foxy, too. And sometimes he’s right about a few things. (I pretty much wanted him to win every argument only because she’s so irritating.)
This continues on until the two goobers realize that the trail the con has taken leads directly back to the DeLisle ranch. Franzi is concerned because her dead brother’s pregnant possibly-wife (seriously, don’t even ask) is back at the house alone and who knows what that crazy guy will do to her. He takes her hostage, as it turns out. Hunter has things pretty much under control, but stupid Franzi can’t bear to take any orders from some darn officer, so she has to go and do her own thing and wouldn’t you know it? Makes a big old mess out of everything. By the end of the book I was pretty fed up with her and kind of didn’t care if she got shot by that loon or not.
Can you tell I didn’t really like Stubborn as a Mule? It’s probably not as terrible as I’m making it out to be, but I have to say: it took way too long to get going and then when it finally got kind of interesting, it was ruined almost immediately by the frustrating ending. I just don’t feel like I can wholeheartedly recommend this one. Just read The Cinderella Coach instead! It is vintage Denny.
Without further ado...
Wednesday, June 27, 2007
Here it is, folks! The Marati Legacy by Dana James! We all know Dana from The Eagle and The Sun fame. She does it again with this exciting novel!
Well, we start out in Madagascar, a very exotic location if I must say. Had Captian Picard had the technology, he would have taken the ol' Enterprise to this lovely island for some R & R, instead of some of those crappy planets they visited.
Anywho, back the the review.
Dr. Melanie Driscoll is a scuba diving expert. A few pages into the book we learn that she had a very nice job at some up-scale institute, testing scuba equipment. She has left the job for an extended holiday (vacation to us westerners) at the urging of her boss. We learn that there was an accident at the institute involving her co-worker Paul, and he dies. Now, this is where it gets a little annoying. They give you little bits here and there about a fight they had, but they don't let on yet about the nature of the fight. Just that the next morning, Paul kacks while diving and she'll be forever haunted by it.
So she's set to work on a boat with her twin brother, Derek, who's been working already for a while on this particular vessel. Just as her brother was going to tell her a particular piece of vital information about her job, in swagers Luke Avery, acting like a neanderthal because he was led to believe that Derek's twin is actually his brother. Not so, and the beefy Luke is testy about it because they don't have any other women working on his boat. This just sets the tone for the first few chapters, but as we delve deeper into the story, Mel and Luke start feeling hot and heavy for each other. By the way, Luke and Mel have to share a cabin, although he has a separate little cot to sleep on. Convenient. So, they are going to start working on this shipwreck. Now, I loves me some shipwreck novels, (I don't know why, so don't ask) so this particular story kept me interested from the get-go. Of course, there's all kinds of dangers. Apparently the wreck is close to the edge of a drop-off, AND there are sharks (which I found to be very exciting!), so you get your fill of excitement.
Okay, now this is where it gets a little confusing.
Derek, Mel and Luke decide to go into town for a drink at the local tavern to celebrate the finding of the shipwreck. At the bar, they notice a very exotic and beautiful young woman who is sitting with two large thug-type men. She starts crying and of course, Derek wants to know who she is and what's wrong with her. So he follows her after she rushes out of the bar and leaves Mel and Luke to get to know each other better. Turns out, the thugs say they have this contract that she supposedly signed that says she agrees to star in their very disgusting porn flick. Of course, the signature was forged, but she has no connections in Madagascar and is not sure what to do. So Selena (the exotic beauty) is going to hide out on the boat and Luke has his panties all in a bunch because she might mess up his covert operation.
This makes Mel a little concerned about just what type of work they are doing on this expedition. Luke fesses up that there is supposedly a chest worth mucho moolah in this sunken ship and he's trying to find it. (Or maybe he told her that earlier, but at this point, who cares really?) Anyway, there's a couple of attempts by Luke to get jiggy wit it in Mel's bed. But she's too scared to let him and SHE JUST CAN'T TELL HIM WHAT HAPPENED between her and Paul.
So there was this storm that came and moved the wreck closer to the edge of the underwater cliff and now it's going to get very dangerous because it's teetering there. Derek and Luke are going to go down into the wreck because Luke says that it's too dangerous for Melanie and he doesn't want to lose her. So they go down and after a while, Luke comes up and says that Derek's stuck down there and he's bleeding. Enter the sharks. Luke and Mel have this heated argument about how he can handle it alone and for her to Stay! Of course, she's not going to do that, so she goes down and helps Luke get Derek free and after a couple of close calls with the sharks, they also get the chest and bring it up to the boat. Luke is furious with Mel because she risked her life and he takes her to the bedroom and my lord, he just can't help himself! Melanie's life in danger makes him so excited! But again, Mel stops Luke and finally it comes out that Paul had raped her and now she's freaked out about love--making. Luke assures her that he loves her and says he'll wait for her to become comfortable, and it wasn't her fault and all that stuff.
So, everything is hunky dory now and they're in love and all that crap. But then she overhears Luke talking to Selena about tricking those two and she automatically assumes they're talking about her and Derek, but it's the two thugs. (You know that the makings of a fine Harlequin novel should include at least one misunderstanding.) Mel flees the boat in the middle of the night and in the morning, she sees the boat leaving the harbor and so she thinks that Luke has left her for good. Not so, because he then shows up at her room at the hotel and fesses up that he's a secret agent for the British government and that he wants to marry her and everything is all happy again!
The final few paragraphs fill us in that they have gotten married and have (at last!) consummated the relationship. She's overcome her fears and demons!!! Yay! And Luke finally gets to eat his cake. Double yay!
My favorite passage from this book is taken from the early part of the book, and I'm going to Bold type the best word evar!
"He was only an arm's length away. She was acutely aware of him, his man-smell, warm and musky."
Now, how many times have you thought of someone's man-smell? And what the heck does it smell like? Aftershave? B.O.? Ponder this thought and then find yourself a copy of The Marati Legacy. You will not be sorry you did!
If I had a top 5 book list like Becca, I would certainly put The Marati Legacy at the top. Thanks, Dana, for an awesome read!
~ Kris
Here it is, folks! The Marati Legacy by Dana James! We all know Dana from The Eagle and The Sun fame. She does it again with this exciting novel!
Well, we start out in Madagascar, a very exotic location if I must say. Had Captian Picard had the technology, he would have taken the ol' Enterprise to this lovely island for some R & R, instead of some of those crappy planets they visited.
Anywho, back the the review.
Dr. Melanie Driscoll is a scuba diving expert. A few pages into the book we learn that she had a very nice job at some up-scale institute, testing scuba equipment. She has left the job for an extended holiday (vacation to us westerners) at the urging of her boss. We learn that there was an accident at the institute involving her co-worker Paul, and he dies. Now, this is where it gets a little annoying. They give you little bits here and there about a fight they had, but they don't let on yet about the nature of the fight. Just that the next morning, Paul kacks while diving and she'll be forever haunted by it.
So she's set to work on a boat with her twin brother, Derek, who's been working already for a while on this particular vessel. Just as her brother was going to tell her a particular piece of vital information about her job, in swagers Luke Avery, acting like a neanderthal because he was led to believe that Derek's twin is actually his brother. Not so, and the beefy Luke is testy about it because they don't have any other women working on his boat. This just sets the tone for the first few chapters, but as we delve deeper into the story, Mel and Luke start feeling hot and heavy for each other. By the way, Luke and Mel have to share a cabin, although he has a separate little cot to sleep on. Convenient. So, they are going to start working on this shipwreck. Now, I loves me some shipwreck novels, (I don't know why, so don't ask) so this particular story kept me interested from the get-go. Of course, there's all kinds of dangers. Apparently the wreck is close to the edge of a drop-off, AND there are sharks (which I found to be very exciting!), so you get your fill of excitement.
Okay, now this is where it gets a little confusing.
Derek, Mel and Luke decide to go into town for a drink at the local tavern to celebrate the finding of the shipwreck. At the bar, they notice a very exotic and beautiful young woman who is sitting with two large thug-type men. She starts crying and of course, Derek wants to know who she is and what's wrong with her. So he follows her after she rushes out of the bar and leaves Mel and Luke to get to know each other better. Turns out, the thugs say they have this contract that she supposedly signed that says she agrees to star in their very disgusting porn flick. Of course, the signature was forged, but she has no connections in Madagascar and is not sure what to do. So Selena (the exotic beauty) is going to hide out on the boat and Luke has his panties all in a bunch because she might mess up his covert operation.
This makes Mel a little concerned about just what type of work they are doing on this expedition. Luke fesses up that there is supposedly a chest worth mucho moolah in this sunken ship and he's trying to find it. (Or maybe he told her that earlier, but at this point, who cares really?) Anyway, there's a couple of attempts by Luke to get jiggy wit it in Mel's bed. But she's too scared to let him and SHE JUST CAN'T TELL HIM WHAT HAPPENED between her and Paul.
So there was this storm that came and moved the wreck closer to the edge of the underwater cliff and now it's going to get very dangerous because it's teetering there. Derek and Luke are going to go down into the wreck because Luke says that it's too dangerous for Melanie and he doesn't want to lose her. So they go down and after a while, Luke comes up and says that Derek's stuck down there and he's bleeding. Enter the sharks. Luke and Mel have this heated argument about how he can handle it alone and for her to Stay! Of course, she's not going to do that, so she goes down and helps Luke get Derek free and after a couple of close calls with the sharks, they also get the chest and bring it up to the boat. Luke is furious with Mel because she risked her life and he takes her to the bedroom and my lord, he just can't help himself! Melanie's life in danger makes him so excited! But again, Mel stops Luke and finally it comes out that Paul had raped her and now she's freaked out about love--making. Luke assures her that he loves her and says he'll wait for her to become comfortable, and it wasn't her fault and all that stuff.
So, everything is hunky dory now and they're in love and all that crap. But then she overhears Luke talking to Selena about tricking those two and she automatically assumes they're talking about her and Derek, but it's the two thugs. (You know that the makings of a fine Harlequin novel should include at least one misunderstanding.) Mel flees the boat in the middle of the night and in the morning, she sees the boat leaving the harbor and so she thinks that Luke has left her for good. Not so, because he then shows up at her room at the hotel and fesses up that he's a secret agent for the British government and that he wants to marry her and everything is all happy again!
The final few paragraphs fill us in that they have gotten married and have (at last!) consummated the relationship. She's overcome her fears and demons!!! Yay! And Luke finally gets to eat his cake. Double yay!
My favorite passage from this book is taken from the early part of the book, and I'm going to Bold type the best word evar!
"He was only an arm's length away. She was acutely aware of him, his man-smell, warm and musky."
Now, how many times have you thought of someone's man-smell? And what the heck does it smell like? Aftershave? B.O.? Ponder this thought and then find yourself a copy of The Marati Legacy. You will not be sorry you did!
If I had a top 5 book list like Becca, I would certainly put The Marati Legacy at the top. Thanks, Dana, for an awesome read!
~ Kris
The Eagle and the Sun - special italics edition!
Wednesday, June 6, 2007
If you read my review of The Eagle and the Sun, you’ll know that A) I think it’s the bestest Harlequin EVER, and B) one of the funny things about it is that author Dana James firmly believes in using italics to get the speaker’s point across. In fact, there are so many italics that long ago I decided to underline them all. Sometimes I’ll just randomly open The Eagle and the Sun to a page and more often than not – italics! Note: since this book takes place in Mexico, there are some Spanish words that are italicized as well. I didn’t underline them, since they’re not so much funny as educational.
Below is a complete list of the italicized words and phrases in the book used for dramatic effect. Words that appear more than once have the number of occurrences in parentheses behind it. I wasn’t too surprised to see that ‘had’ and ‘why’ were in there a lot (it’s pretty noticeable in the book), but I was surprised that ‘She had to know’ comes up twice! I had not noticed that before. Also, check out that super long, uber-confusing sentence about two thirds of the way down. That’s a tongue twister all right! Fun trivia: the italics start on the second page of the book and end on the last page – the thing is jam-packed with italics, people!
Without further ado:
Food
What?
He did not believe her.
Had (8)
We
Can’t
Our
Her (5)
Impressions
Concerned
Calm
Calmer
Or so she had thought
Nothing
His
Your (5)
Won’t
Was (3)
Friend
You (8)
Possibly
Didn’t
He (5)
No one
Personally
Last
Is (3)
Why (7)
Couldn’t
She had to know. (2!)
Thunk
Unlucky
Known
She (4)
Have (2)
Need
Courtesy
Marriage
Mad
Proper
Mexico
My (4)
Especially
And
Shut up
He wouldn’t.
Not (5)
Are
Why had he done it?
Him (2)
None
Unease
Claim
Am
Loved
Except
He knew what she was thinking.
A girl whom, despite all this, he did not love and who, notwithstanding her air of possessiveness, was openly flirting with a man who had just announced his own engagement.
Or contempt.
But where would Teresa be sleeping?
It was none of her business.
Go away!
He was sharing it with her.
So very close
Absolutely
Be
Ask
Vivid
He was engaged to someone else.
Appears
Quite
Hold
Sampling the merchandise
Sulk?
Another
I (5)
Were
Everything
Anything
Engaged
Got (2)
Think
Couldn’t
He’ll
Three months
Doing
Long
That
She had to stop this.
Was it true?
Want (2)
Did
Beautiful (2)
Must
Please
None
Cotton
Something (2)
Lived
That
Implied
Be
No one
Right
Papa
Stupid
He had not been surprised to see her.
Expected
Who (2)
Helpful
Overlook
Very
If you read my review of The Eagle and the Sun, you’ll know that A) I think it’s the bestest Harlequin EVER, and B) one of the funny things about it is that author Dana James firmly believes in using italics to get the speaker’s point across. In fact, there are so many italics that long ago I decided to underline them all. Sometimes I’ll just randomly open The Eagle and the Sun to a page and more often than not – italics! Note: since this book takes place in Mexico, there are some Spanish words that are italicized as well. I didn’t underline them, since they’re not so much funny as educational.
Below is a complete list of the italicized words and phrases in the book used for dramatic effect. Words that appear more than once have the number of occurrences in parentheses behind it. I wasn’t too surprised to see that ‘had’ and ‘why’ were in there a lot (it’s pretty noticeable in the book), but I was surprised that ‘She had to know’ comes up twice! I had not noticed that before. Also, check out that super long, uber-confusing sentence about two thirds of the way down. That’s a tongue twister all right! Fun trivia: the italics start on the second page of the book and end on the last page – the thing is jam-packed with italics, people!
Without further ado:
Food
What?
He did not believe her.
Had (8)
We
Can’t
Our
Her (5)
Impressions
Concerned
Calm
Calmer
Or so she had thought
Nothing
His
Your (5)
Won’t
Was (3)
Friend
You (8)
Possibly
Didn’t
He (5)
No one
Personally
Last
Is (3)
Why (7)
Couldn’t
She had to know. (2!)
Thunk
Unlucky
Known
She (4)
Have (2)
Need
Courtesy
Marriage
Mad
Proper
Mexico
My (4)
Especially
And
Shut up
He wouldn’t.
Not (5)
Are
Why had he done it?
Him (2)
None
Unease
Claim
Am
Loved
Except
He knew what she was thinking.
A girl whom, despite all this, he did not love and who, notwithstanding her air of possessiveness, was openly flirting with a man who had just announced his own engagement.
Or contempt.
But where would Teresa be sleeping?
It was none of her business.
Go away!
He was sharing it with her.
So very close
Absolutely
Be
Ask
Vivid
He was engaged to someone else.
Appears
Quite
Hold
Sampling the merchandise
Sulk?
Another
I (5)
Were
Everything
Anything
Engaged
Got (2)
Think
Couldn’t
He’ll
Three months
Doing
Long
That
She had to stop this.
Was it true?
Want (2)
Did
Beautiful (2)
Must
Please
None
Cotton
Something (2)
Lived
That
Implied
Be
No one
Right
Papa
Stupid
He had not been surprised to see her.
Expected
Who (2)
Helpful
Overlook
Very
Hold on to your sombreros!
Friday, May 18, 2007
People who mock Harlequin Romances have obviously never read The Eagle and the Sun by Dana James (published 1987). I don’t think it can be adequately expressed how completely awesome this book is. It has all the elements of a good Harley, plus more. MUCH more!
We meet jewelry designer Cass Elliot (Element of a Good Harley #1: unusual professions make for fun and educational reading!) when she decides to take a trip to sunny Mexico (EGH #2: foreign settings allow readers to visit exotic locations without leaving the comfort of their homes!). She’s planning on visiting the famous Ibarra gem mines and getting some ideas for new jewelry designs. Unfortunately for her, her boss’s jerky son Derek decides to come along (EGH #3: a cad in the mix is always amusing!) and in case you didn’t know he’d be a jerk, he gets drunk on the plane ride over there. Cass is already embarrassed enough but it gets worse when Miguel Ibarra and his turtleneck sweater show up, in a helicopter no less. (For a Mexican, he wears an awful lot of sweaters.) Miguel is none too happy to see Cass and Derek since his father is in the hospital, but Mexican good manners say he must let them stay in his house since that’s what the elder Ibarra would’ve done.
Naturally, Miguel’s hacienda is PERFECT! (EGH #4: the Harley hero must show an appreciation for form AND function, thus demonstrating his consideration for others but also that he’s loaded.) Cass’ room is lovely and spacious, her bathroom has fluffy towels, there is a large stable and riding area for horses, the house is nicely landscaped, and he has a housekeeper who delivers Mexican hot chocolate on demand.
On their first morning in Mexico, Cass and Derek have breakfast with Miguel. He tells them about the various kinds of breakfast foods and one of the items on the breakfast menu at Casa Miguel is tacos! This I do not understand. However, one of the many fun things about The Eagle and the Sun is the tasty and exotic foods! (EGH #5: delicious food descriptions add to the appeal!) One of my favorite sounding meals has seafood tacos for an APPETIZER, a fruity alcoholic punch, plus chili con carne for the main course, followed by a tropical fruit salad with tiny shortbread cookies. Yummers!
First on the agenda is a trip to the Ibarra business office. Miguel shows Cass and Derek into the private gem-viewing room. Derek, ever shrewd, notices that the chairs in the room are actually CONNECTED TO THE TABLE. See people, it’s stuff like this that make this book so great. Why wouldn’t there be fold-down chairs connected to a table?! It’s because Miguel’s so smart – there is nothing in the room that can be used as a potential weapon, so Miguel can’t be attacked and then have his jewels stolen (hey, get your mind out of the gutter). (EGH #6: unusual contraptions and strange inventions are ALWAYS appreciated - and very James Bond!)
As Miguel shows off the gems, Derek is being his usual buttface and making sarcastic comments. Cass, being the heroine of this tale, is of course friendly and interested in Miguel’s gem knowledge (just wait until you’re 70 and he won’t shut up about contra luz, lady). Not surprisingly, there is electricity between Cass and Miguel. He leans very near her to show her some extremely rare and beautiful fire opals. Their red color would really go nicely with her hair, as Miguel can attest since he was running his fingers through it. However, the romantic moment is ruined when Derek sets off the alarm on the safe (an accident, he claims).
Next up is a tour of the mines with Miguel’s loyal assistant Benito. Once again, Derek is angling for Most Annoying Supporting Character by griping about the food and just being rude. Cass tries to make up for it by being overly polite. We also get more great food descriptions, this time in Benito’s broken English. The best exchange is when Derek mutters that he thought they’d go get some proper food and Cass says “we are in Mexico – this is proper food”. You tell ‘em!
After this long day of gems, gems and more gems, Benito takes Cass and Derek back to the hacienda where Miguel will meet them later. Back at home, Cass changes into appropriate dinner wear. This might be about the best scene EVER. Get a load of the outfit! A cream sheath dress topped by a chocolate brown BATWING jacket that ties in a floppy bow on one hip. Batwing jacket! I kid you not. This outfit is still talked about to this day by me and my sisters. The Eagle and the Sun has the best outfit descriptions of any Harley I’ve ever read and I’ve read a lot. (EGH #7: the more detailed the outfit descriptions, the funnier the book will be!) The other great thing about Cass’ wardrobe is described earlier. She mainly dresses in shades of cream, fawn and brown with teal or coral accents. “Thus from a few basic pieces she could create many looks”, says Dana James. She also wears her own jewelry, obviously.
Anyway, it’s a good thing Cass is wearing her power outfit, because she’s gonna need it. She goes downstairs and runs into Miguel, still wearing his business suit (which only emphasizes the power in his lean legs, mind you). He’s got a big surprise for her – Teresa, his betrothed!!! (EGH #8: You cannot go wrong with “the other woman” – the bitchier, the better!) Boy, is she a piece of work. It sounds like she dresses like a drag queen and her nail polish always matches her outfits! (Later, she also wears a batwing sweater – 1987 was a good year for batwings.) She’s also young, immature, and super self-centered. To add to the awkwardness, Teresa’s parents, Senor and Senora Morelos, are also there. BUT – that’s not the worst of it! Conniving Derek announced to everyone that he and Cass are ALSO engaged! He senses Miguel’s interest in Cass and he’s about to let the games begin.
At this point, we’re only about halfway through the book AND it’s only been one full day since Cass even got to Mexico. Seriously, this book covers a lot of ground in a short time. Cass and Miguel do get some alone time the next morning, as Cass had agreed to ride horses into the mountains to see the sunrise. There’s a whole lot of weird conversation about the ancient Aztecs, Miguel’s ancestry, etc., which I think is there to show how much Cass understands Miguel (as opposed to Teresa, who’s merely a “spoiled child”, per Miguel). A good example of the differences between the two women is their reactions to Miguel’s beloved horse, Diablo. Cass of course notices how beautiful and majestic the horse is, while the first thing Teresa says about him is how much money he’s worth. Cass wonders “did she only see things in terms of their value?” - I’m telling you, it’s all black and white in this book.
Things get more uncomfortable during the next couple of days at the hacienda – Derek is a big fat liar and starts telling the Moreloses all kinds of bad stuff about Cass, and they make her life miserable. Meanwhile, there’s a fiesta coming up in San Miguel, where the Ibarras happen to have another house, and everyone decides to go. Not surprisingly, the house in San Miguel is pretty much perfect too. The best part about it is that there’s a pool, and Miguel the conscientious host has provided an assortment of swimsuits for his guests that aren’t prepared. Who does that?! Besides the fictional Miguel Ibarra, that is. Plus, who knows who wore that suit previously! It could’ve been Benito for all we know.
Naturally, Cass does not have any appropriate fiesta wear, and she’s already shown off her batwing jacket. Teresa offers to take her shopping for something. But lest you think she’s changed her tune, she constantly steers Cass towards the hideous dresses that will make her look terrible, such as the flouncy yellow number with red flowers that reminded Cass of dollops of tomato sauce over huge acres of scrambled eggs. (EGH #9: Make sure the other woman tries to undermine the heroine with some fake sweetness.) However, Cass knows what’s up and finds a lovely but simple turquoise dress with some frills and cream lace that makes her look radiant.
Come fiesta time, Cass throws on her frock and heads downstairs where she runs into Miguel. He is in an old-style Mexican cowboy outfit with black fitted breeches and a black short jacket and let me just say, he looks H-O-T-T. He is planning on riding his horse in the parade with the other cowboys. This also leads to a moment of snootiness from Teresa, who can’t figure out why he’d want to pretend to be one of those loser cowboys. ANYWAY, the finally all walk into town where the magic of the fiesta begins to change their lives.
Miguel takes off to get ready for the parade, while Cass wanders around with the rest of the group (who all kind of hate her, don’t forget). But with all the music and people dancing, Cass gets caught up in the spell of the fiesta and loses everyone. Suddenly she is being ogled by gross drunk old men and one of them grabs at her. She sees Miguel in the distance, looking foxy on his horse, and starts yelling for him. Miraculously, he hears her and breaks out of formation and hoists her up on the horse. (EGH #10: He’s a HERO for a reason! Dashing theatrics make readers SWOON!)
He takes Cass back to the hacienda and there’s a moment when you think Cass will just tell him that she loves him already, but she doesn’t. She assumes that since he’s engaged to Teresa, their love can never be. Just then, Derek, Teresa and the elder Moreloses come back and Teresa yells at Cass for ruining everything. She whines some more about how she’ll never be married and Miguel agrees, it’s time to settle the wedding business. Cass is beside herself with grief, but manages to properly congratulate Teresa (who bitchily refuses her congratulations). She then heads up to her room and cries like a little girl.
Well, I’m not going to ruin the end for you, you’re just going to have to read it yourself. And lest you think that you already know what happens throughout the rest of the book, I’ve barely cracked the surface here. I can’t do justice to the descriptions of food, clothes, dialogue, Miguel’s home and the Official Ibarra Transportation (I’ll just say that matching helicopters and Range Rovers are involved). Before I forget, the other hilarious thing about this book is the use of italics for dramatic emphasis. One time I went through and underlined all the italic words and phrases in the book (I did not count italicized foreign words, like “hacienda”) and there were a LOT. There will be a separate post about those because there are just too many to mention.
So, this long recap ought to really inspire you to read The Eagle and the Sun. It is Dana James’ shining moment, and the fire opal in the solitaire ring of Harlequins. Once you start reading it, you won’t be able to put it down! Unless it’s to stop and get a taco.
People who mock Harlequin Romances have obviously never read The Eagle and the Sun by Dana James (published 1987). I don’t think it can be adequately expressed how completely awesome this book is. It has all the elements of a good Harley, plus more. MUCH more!
We meet jewelry designer Cass Elliot (Element of a Good Harley #1: unusual professions make for fun and educational reading!) when she decides to take a trip to sunny Mexico (EGH #2: foreign settings allow readers to visit exotic locations without leaving the comfort of their homes!). She’s planning on visiting the famous Ibarra gem mines and getting some ideas for new jewelry designs. Unfortunately for her, her boss’s jerky son Derek decides to come along (EGH #3: a cad in the mix is always amusing!) and in case you didn’t know he’d be a jerk, he gets drunk on the plane ride over there. Cass is already embarrassed enough but it gets worse when Miguel Ibarra and his turtleneck sweater show up, in a helicopter no less. (For a Mexican, he wears an awful lot of sweaters.) Miguel is none too happy to see Cass and Derek since his father is in the hospital, but Mexican good manners say he must let them stay in his house since that’s what the elder Ibarra would’ve done.
Naturally, Miguel’s hacienda is PERFECT! (EGH #4: the Harley hero must show an appreciation for form AND function, thus demonstrating his consideration for others but also that he’s loaded.) Cass’ room is lovely and spacious, her bathroom has fluffy towels, there is a large stable and riding area for horses, the house is nicely landscaped, and he has a housekeeper who delivers Mexican hot chocolate on demand.
On their first morning in Mexico, Cass and Derek have breakfast with Miguel. He tells them about the various kinds of breakfast foods and one of the items on the breakfast menu at Casa Miguel is tacos! This I do not understand. However, one of the many fun things about The Eagle and the Sun is the tasty and exotic foods! (EGH #5: delicious food descriptions add to the appeal!) One of my favorite sounding meals has seafood tacos for an APPETIZER, a fruity alcoholic punch, plus chili con carne for the main course, followed by a tropical fruit salad with tiny shortbread cookies. Yummers!
First on the agenda is a trip to the Ibarra business office. Miguel shows Cass and Derek into the private gem-viewing room. Derek, ever shrewd, notices that the chairs in the room are actually CONNECTED TO THE TABLE. See people, it’s stuff like this that make this book so great. Why wouldn’t there be fold-down chairs connected to a table?! It’s because Miguel’s so smart – there is nothing in the room that can be used as a potential weapon, so Miguel can’t be attacked and then have his jewels stolen (hey, get your mind out of the gutter). (EGH #6: unusual contraptions and strange inventions are ALWAYS appreciated - and very James Bond!)
As Miguel shows off the gems, Derek is being his usual buttface and making sarcastic comments. Cass, being the heroine of this tale, is of course friendly and interested in Miguel’s gem knowledge (just wait until you’re 70 and he won’t shut up about contra luz, lady). Not surprisingly, there is electricity between Cass and Miguel. He leans very near her to show her some extremely rare and beautiful fire opals. Their red color would really go nicely with her hair, as Miguel can attest since he was running his fingers through it. However, the romantic moment is ruined when Derek sets off the alarm on the safe (an accident, he claims).
Next up is a tour of the mines with Miguel’s loyal assistant Benito. Once again, Derek is angling for Most Annoying Supporting Character by griping about the food and just being rude. Cass tries to make up for it by being overly polite. We also get more great food descriptions, this time in Benito’s broken English. The best exchange is when Derek mutters that he thought they’d go get some proper food and Cass says “we are in Mexico – this is proper food”. You tell ‘em!
After this long day of gems, gems and more gems, Benito takes Cass and Derek back to the hacienda where Miguel will meet them later. Back at home, Cass changes into appropriate dinner wear. This might be about the best scene EVER. Get a load of the outfit! A cream sheath dress topped by a chocolate brown BATWING jacket that ties in a floppy bow on one hip. Batwing jacket! I kid you not. This outfit is still talked about to this day by me and my sisters. The Eagle and the Sun has the best outfit descriptions of any Harley I’ve ever read and I’ve read a lot. (EGH #7: the more detailed the outfit descriptions, the funnier the book will be!) The other great thing about Cass’ wardrobe is described earlier. She mainly dresses in shades of cream, fawn and brown with teal or coral accents. “Thus from a few basic pieces she could create many looks”, says Dana James. She also wears her own jewelry, obviously.
Anyway, it’s a good thing Cass is wearing her power outfit, because she’s gonna need it. She goes downstairs and runs into Miguel, still wearing his business suit (which only emphasizes the power in his lean legs, mind you). He’s got a big surprise for her – Teresa, his betrothed!!! (EGH #8: You cannot go wrong with “the other woman” – the bitchier, the better!) Boy, is she a piece of work. It sounds like she dresses like a drag queen and her nail polish always matches her outfits! (Later, she also wears a batwing sweater – 1987 was a good year for batwings.) She’s also young, immature, and super self-centered. To add to the awkwardness, Teresa’s parents, Senor and Senora Morelos, are also there. BUT – that’s not the worst of it! Conniving Derek announced to everyone that he and Cass are ALSO engaged! He senses Miguel’s interest in Cass and he’s about to let the games begin.
At this point, we’re only about halfway through the book AND it’s only been one full day since Cass even got to Mexico. Seriously, this book covers a lot of ground in a short time. Cass and Miguel do get some alone time the next morning, as Cass had agreed to ride horses into the mountains to see the sunrise. There’s a whole lot of weird conversation about the ancient Aztecs, Miguel’s ancestry, etc., which I think is there to show how much Cass understands Miguel (as opposed to Teresa, who’s merely a “spoiled child”, per Miguel). A good example of the differences between the two women is their reactions to Miguel’s beloved horse, Diablo. Cass of course notices how beautiful and majestic the horse is, while the first thing Teresa says about him is how much money he’s worth. Cass wonders “did she only see things in terms of their value?” - I’m telling you, it’s all black and white in this book.
Things get more uncomfortable during the next couple of days at the hacienda – Derek is a big fat liar and starts telling the Moreloses all kinds of bad stuff about Cass, and they make her life miserable. Meanwhile, there’s a fiesta coming up in San Miguel, where the Ibarras happen to have another house, and everyone decides to go. Not surprisingly, the house in San Miguel is pretty much perfect too. The best part about it is that there’s a pool, and Miguel the conscientious host has provided an assortment of swimsuits for his guests that aren’t prepared. Who does that?! Besides the fictional Miguel Ibarra, that is. Plus, who knows who wore that suit previously! It could’ve been Benito for all we know.
Naturally, Cass does not have any appropriate fiesta wear, and she’s already shown off her batwing jacket. Teresa offers to take her shopping for something. But lest you think she’s changed her tune, she constantly steers Cass towards the hideous dresses that will make her look terrible, such as the flouncy yellow number with red flowers that reminded Cass of dollops of tomato sauce over huge acres of scrambled eggs. (EGH #9: Make sure the other woman tries to undermine the heroine with some fake sweetness.) However, Cass knows what’s up and finds a lovely but simple turquoise dress with some frills and cream lace that makes her look radiant.
Come fiesta time, Cass throws on her frock and heads downstairs where she runs into Miguel. He is in an old-style Mexican cowboy outfit with black fitted breeches and a black short jacket and let me just say, he looks H-O-T-T. He is planning on riding his horse in the parade with the other cowboys. This also leads to a moment of snootiness from Teresa, who can’t figure out why he’d want to pretend to be one of those loser cowboys. ANYWAY, the finally all walk into town where the magic of the fiesta begins to change their lives.
Miguel takes off to get ready for the parade, while Cass wanders around with the rest of the group (who all kind of hate her, don’t forget). But with all the music and people dancing, Cass gets caught up in the spell of the fiesta and loses everyone. Suddenly she is being ogled by gross drunk old men and one of them grabs at her. She sees Miguel in the distance, looking foxy on his horse, and starts yelling for him. Miraculously, he hears her and breaks out of formation and hoists her up on the horse. (EGH #10: He’s a HERO for a reason! Dashing theatrics make readers SWOON!)
He takes Cass back to the hacienda and there’s a moment when you think Cass will just tell him that she loves him already, but she doesn’t. She assumes that since he’s engaged to Teresa, their love can never be. Just then, Derek, Teresa and the elder Moreloses come back and Teresa yells at Cass for ruining everything. She whines some more about how she’ll never be married and Miguel agrees, it’s time to settle the wedding business. Cass is beside herself with grief, but manages to properly congratulate Teresa (who bitchily refuses her congratulations). She then heads up to her room and cries like a little girl.
Well, I’m not going to ruin the end for you, you’re just going to have to read it yourself. And lest you think that you already know what happens throughout the rest of the book, I’ve barely cracked the surface here. I can’t do justice to the descriptions of food, clothes, dialogue, Miguel’s home and the Official Ibarra Transportation (I’ll just say that matching helicopters and Range Rovers are involved). Before I forget, the other hilarious thing about this book is the use of italics for dramatic emphasis. One time I went through and underlined all the italic words and phrases in the book (I did not count italicized foreign words, like “hacienda”) and there were a LOT. There will be a separate post about those because there are just too many to mention.
So, this long recap ought to really inspire you to read The Eagle and the Sun. It is Dana James’ shining moment, and the fire opal in the solitaire ring of Harlequins. Once you start reading it, you won’t be able to put it down! Unless it’s to stop and get a taco.
Bethany comes thru again!
Wednesday, May 9, 2007
Well, it's been quite a while since I've written a review and this book has been sitting on my desk just awaiting for me to write about it.
I've recently read Sand Dollar by Bethany Campbell, published in August 1992. It's a sea-worthy tale of deception, lust, and murder (okay, not really murder, but it sounded good). Whitney Shane heads out on a day-trip with her boss, Lawrence Mortalwood, and snooty colleague, Adrian Fisk. This trip takes place on a yacht with hunky Gabe Cantrell working as skipper. I'm looking at the picture of Gabe on the front of the book and I'm thinking he's a cross between Sigfried (of Sigfried and Roy fame) and David Lee Roth with shorter hair.
After a few hours at sea, Mr. Mortalwood decides he wants to take the wheel while Whitney and Gabe get busy down in the galley. Of course, Whitney is an executive and wouldn't dream of lowering herself with such a white-trash blue-collar man, but that doesn't stop him from making the moves. Eventually, for reasons that are currently escaping me, the yacht explodes and Gabe and Whitney are forced to save Adrian and Mr. Mortalwood's sorry asses.
They end up on a small island called Sand Dollar (which was the original destination, but I'll tell you more about that later) and are now obligated to take care of those two losers. Mr. Mortalwood is severely injured and Adrian has a broken ankle and can't walk.
Eventually we learn that Whitney grew up in the deep South, where her uncle Dub taught her all kinds of non-girly things, like how to wrastle alligators and take care of herself in the woods. This knowledge gets her noticed from the likes of Gabe, and he's eager to show his excitement in her skills, but she still snubs him. This only makes him disgusted with her and he starts getting jealous because Mr. Mortalwood has the hots for Whitney (or so he thinks).
The whole reason for going to Sand Dollar was to check it out for a potential resort. But there's also an eco-story here. Whitney, with Gabe's coaxing, soon decides that it would be a shame to destroy the naturalness of the island with a resort.
They eventually get off the island (in less than 5 days) and she and Gabe go their different ways. Gabe thinks she's just a cold executive, just like Mr. Mortalwood and Adrian. But ~ she quits her job because the ethics of destroying a natural place was just to much for her.
Fast-forward to a year later, and Whitney is working for herself in a modest office, doing independant consulting for small firms. Soon, Gabe shows up in her office, and says he needs a partner in his new business venture, Wild Places, Inc. What Whitney doesn't get is that he's actually looking for a life partner (until he spells it out for her!).
So, in a nutshell, it's an enjoyable read. I like beach stories, so this one was up my alley. I give it a two-thumbs-up. Bethany comes through for us after all.
Stay tuned for my next review. I'm not sure what I'm reviewing, but I'm sure it's going to be a doozy. In the meantime, go out and rent Footloose. It's hella good!
TTFN!
~ Kris
Well, it's been quite a while since I've written a review and this book has been sitting on my desk just awaiting for me to write about it.
I've recently read Sand Dollar by Bethany Campbell, published in August 1992. It's a sea-worthy tale of deception, lust, and murder (okay, not really murder, but it sounded good). Whitney Shane heads out on a day-trip with her boss, Lawrence Mortalwood, and snooty colleague, Adrian Fisk. This trip takes place on a yacht with hunky Gabe Cantrell working as skipper. I'm looking at the picture of Gabe on the front of the book and I'm thinking he's a cross between Sigfried (of Sigfried and Roy fame) and David Lee Roth with shorter hair.
After a few hours at sea, Mr. Mortalwood decides he wants to take the wheel while Whitney and Gabe get busy down in the galley. Of course, Whitney is an executive and wouldn't dream of lowering herself with such a white-trash blue-collar man, but that doesn't stop him from making the moves. Eventually, for reasons that are currently escaping me, the yacht explodes and Gabe and Whitney are forced to save Adrian and Mr. Mortalwood's sorry asses.
They end up on a small island called Sand Dollar (which was the original destination, but I'll tell you more about that later) and are now obligated to take care of those two losers. Mr. Mortalwood is severely injured and Adrian has a broken ankle and can't walk.
Eventually we learn that Whitney grew up in the deep South, where her uncle Dub taught her all kinds of non-girly things, like how to wrastle alligators and take care of herself in the woods. This knowledge gets her noticed from the likes of Gabe, and he's eager to show his excitement in her skills, but she still snubs him. This only makes him disgusted with her and he starts getting jealous because Mr. Mortalwood has the hots for Whitney (or so he thinks).
The whole reason for going to Sand Dollar was to check it out for a potential resort. But there's also an eco-story here. Whitney, with Gabe's coaxing, soon decides that it would be a shame to destroy the naturalness of the island with a resort.
They eventually get off the island (in less than 5 days) and she and Gabe go their different ways. Gabe thinks she's just a cold executive, just like Mr. Mortalwood and Adrian. But ~ she quits her job because the ethics of destroying a natural place was just to much for her.
Fast-forward to a year later, and Whitney is working for herself in a modest office, doing independant consulting for small firms. Soon, Gabe shows up in her office, and says he needs a partner in his new business venture, Wild Places, Inc. What Whitney doesn't get is that he's actually looking for a life partner (until he spells it out for her!).
So, in a nutshell, it's an enjoyable read. I like beach stories, so this one was up my alley. I give it a two-thumbs-up. Bethany comes through for us after all.
Stay tuned for my next review. I'm not sure what I'm reviewing, but I'm sure it's going to be a doozy. In the meantime, go out and rent Footloose. It's hella good!
TTFN!
~ Kris
Monkey whines
Wednesday, April 11, 2007
We all know Bethany Campbell is one of the queens of the Harlequin. However, even she sometimes doesn’t get it quite right.
Every Woman’s Dream (1991) starts out on the right foot – Tess Avery is trying to work her way up the food chain in the advertising world and dreams of eventually getting to New York City for her shot at the big time. Before that can happen, however, she has to deal with the stupid crap that her evil boss likes to dole out. Stuff like finding a monkey that can make spaghetti (which turns out to be surprisingly easy in Omaha) or, perhaps, searching for eligible bachelors to appear in a charity calendar.
It’s this second job of course that leads her to meet Cal Buchanon, a farmer who is still single at the ripe old age of 37 because he had to raise his sister’s kids when she died and that left no time for dating. It’s not because he’s weird or a jackass or anything. Cal’s niece Bunny (seriously) secretly takes a photo of him and submits it for the calendar. Of course, all the ladies at the office go nutso because he’s not wearing a shirt and he’s so gorgeous AND he’s holding a pony and OH MY GOODNESS!! Well, it turns out that Cal is not at all happy about appearing shirtless in a charity calendar and demands to be taken out of it. Tess’s mean boss manipulates her with the promise of a recommendation and makes her drive the two hours to rural Nebraska to talk Cal into it.
So off she goes to the farm country in her business suit. Her first meeting is with Bunny, who’s about 18, but acts like she’s 12. Let me tell you, her schtick got old REAL QUICK. Bunny is understandably excited about possibly having her photo used in a calendar, so I’ll cut her some slack, but she’s one of those very dramatic types that cries at the drop of a hat and thinks everyone is out to get her. Annoying.Anywho, Bunny leads Tess into the house where “Uncle Cal” happens to be napping, shirt askew of course. So Tess gets to view the eye candy, at least until he wakes up and has a hissy fit. Cal once again tells Tess that there is no way he’ll embarrass himself by appearing in the calendar, no matter how good the cause is. Bunny, however, does her stupid crying thing and eventually he relents. Tess gamely tries to get him to sign the release forms before she leaves, but he tells her he’ll sign them when he’s good and ready, dang it (he doesn’t actually say “dang it”, unfortunately). So off she goes to her car and – what do you know? It won’t start! The obvious solution is that Tess will just have to stay overnight at their farmhouse. This sets the scene nicely for a little lady-gets-caught-wearing-her-nightgown action. Luckily, Cal has a nice porch swing for just such an occasion. Tess can’t sleep so she wanders outside and has the nerve to sit on CAL’S side of the swing! Women. Can’t live with ‘em, can’t… well, nevermind. This leads to a fight which of course leads to a little smooching, but then Cal unjustly accuses Tess of using her feminine wiles to get him to sign the release forms. Oh snap! The next morning, Tess finds out her car still isn’t running, so she has to borrow Bunny’s car (guess who whines about that?) which handily means that she’ll have to exchange the car at some point. Well played, Avery. Well played.
When Tess gets back to the office, she finds out Cal’s picture got leaked and suddenly everyone wants a piece of him. This means that Tess has to go back to Cal to get him to do even more embarrassing things, like appear in a women’s magazine! A similar scenario happens again when Cal is asked to go to New York to appear on a talk show (really, how good looking is he?!). Every time something new comes up, Mean Agency Boss makes Tess go talk to Cal, who gets mad, which causes Bunny to cry and throw a tantrum, so Cal relents and Tess gets one more break. It’s a vicious circle, and irritating for a number of reasons. The first is that Tess just will not stand up to her boss, even when she really doesn’t want to bother Cal anymore. She is just that desperate to get the heck out of Omaha (she’s trying to escape her past, by the way). It makes her seem really spineless, though.
The bigger problem, though, is Bunny. Girlfriend is AWFUL. We’re supposed to think she’s this free-spirit artist that is sensitive and can’t be bothered to follow Cal’s strict rules (or, I don’t know, respect the guy who put his life on hold to take care of her), but she’s just a selfish brat. And the worst of it is, she doesn’t ever really get called on her obnoxious behavior. Things work out ridiculously – nay, unfairly - good for her, and I don’t recall her ever sincerely apologizing to anyone for being a total baby.
Crappy side characters aside, this one wasn’t too bad. There’s a lot of drama about Tess’s childhood, plenty of descriptions of Cal’s lean good looks, and it moves along quickly. Plus, did I mention the monkey?
We all know Bethany Campbell is one of the queens of the Harlequin. However, even she sometimes doesn’t get it quite right.
Every Woman’s Dream (1991) starts out on the right foot – Tess Avery is trying to work her way up the food chain in the advertising world and dreams of eventually getting to New York City for her shot at the big time. Before that can happen, however, she has to deal with the stupid crap that her evil boss likes to dole out. Stuff like finding a monkey that can make spaghetti (which turns out to be surprisingly easy in Omaha) or, perhaps, searching for eligible bachelors to appear in a charity calendar.
It’s this second job of course that leads her to meet Cal Buchanon, a farmer who is still single at the ripe old age of 37 because he had to raise his sister’s kids when she died and that left no time for dating. It’s not because he’s weird or a jackass or anything. Cal’s niece Bunny (seriously) secretly takes a photo of him and submits it for the calendar. Of course, all the ladies at the office go nutso because he’s not wearing a shirt and he’s so gorgeous AND he’s holding a pony and OH MY GOODNESS!! Well, it turns out that Cal is not at all happy about appearing shirtless in a charity calendar and demands to be taken out of it. Tess’s mean boss manipulates her with the promise of a recommendation and makes her drive the two hours to rural Nebraska to talk Cal into it.
So off she goes to the farm country in her business suit. Her first meeting is with Bunny, who’s about 18, but acts like she’s 12. Let me tell you, her schtick got old REAL QUICK. Bunny is understandably excited about possibly having her photo used in a calendar, so I’ll cut her some slack, but she’s one of those very dramatic types that cries at the drop of a hat and thinks everyone is out to get her. Annoying.Anywho, Bunny leads Tess into the house where “Uncle Cal” happens to be napping, shirt askew of course. So Tess gets to view the eye candy, at least until he wakes up and has a hissy fit. Cal once again tells Tess that there is no way he’ll embarrass himself by appearing in the calendar, no matter how good the cause is. Bunny, however, does her stupid crying thing and eventually he relents. Tess gamely tries to get him to sign the release forms before she leaves, but he tells her he’ll sign them when he’s good and ready, dang it (he doesn’t actually say “dang it”, unfortunately). So off she goes to her car and – what do you know? It won’t start! The obvious solution is that Tess will just have to stay overnight at their farmhouse. This sets the scene nicely for a little lady-gets-caught-wearing-her-nightgown action. Luckily, Cal has a nice porch swing for just such an occasion. Tess can’t sleep so she wanders outside and has the nerve to sit on CAL’S side of the swing! Women. Can’t live with ‘em, can’t… well, nevermind. This leads to a fight which of course leads to a little smooching, but then Cal unjustly accuses Tess of using her feminine wiles to get him to sign the release forms. Oh snap! The next morning, Tess finds out her car still isn’t running, so she has to borrow Bunny’s car (guess who whines about that?) which handily means that she’ll have to exchange the car at some point. Well played, Avery. Well played.
When Tess gets back to the office, she finds out Cal’s picture got leaked and suddenly everyone wants a piece of him. This means that Tess has to go back to Cal to get him to do even more embarrassing things, like appear in a women’s magazine! A similar scenario happens again when Cal is asked to go to New York to appear on a talk show (really, how good looking is he?!). Every time something new comes up, Mean Agency Boss makes Tess go talk to Cal, who gets mad, which causes Bunny to cry and throw a tantrum, so Cal relents and Tess gets one more break. It’s a vicious circle, and irritating for a number of reasons. The first is that Tess just will not stand up to her boss, even when she really doesn’t want to bother Cal anymore. She is just that desperate to get the heck out of Omaha (she’s trying to escape her past, by the way). It makes her seem really spineless, though.
The bigger problem, though, is Bunny. Girlfriend is AWFUL. We’re supposed to think she’s this free-spirit artist that is sensitive and can’t be bothered to follow Cal’s strict rules (or, I don’t know, respect the guy who put his life on hold to take care of her), but she’s just a selfish brat. And the worst of it is, she doesn’t ever really get called on her obnoxious behavior. Things work out ridiculously – nay, unfairly - good for her, and I don’t recall her ever sincerely apologizing to anyone for being a total baby.
Crappy side characters aside, this one wasn’t too bad. There’s a lot of drama about Tess’s childhood, plenty of descriptions of Cal’s lean good looks, and it moves along quickly. Plus, did I mention the monkey?
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