Hold on to your sombreros!

Friday, May 18, 2007

People who mock Harlequin Romances have obviously never read The Eagle and the Sun by Dana James (published 1987). I don’t think it can be adequately expressed how completely awesome this book is. It has all the elements of a good Harley, plus more. MUCH more!

We meet jewelry designer Cass Elliot (Element of a Good Harley #1: unusual professions make for fun and educational reading!) when she decides to take a trip to sunny Mexico (EGH #2: foreign settings allow readers to visit exotic locations without leaving the comfort of their homes!). She’s planning on visiting the famous Ibarra gem mines and getting some ideas for new jewelry designs. Unfortunately for her, her boss’s jerky son Derek decides to come along (EGH #3: a cad in the mix is always amusing!) and in case you didn’t know he’d be a jerk, he gets drunk on the plane ride over there. Cass is already embarrassed enough but it gets worse when Miguel Ibarra and his turtleneck sweater show up, in a helicopter no less. (For a Mexican, he wears an awful lot of sweaters.) Miguel is none too happy to see Cass and Derek since his father is in the hospital, but Mexican good manners say he must let them stay in his house since that’s what the elder Ibarra would’ve done.

Naturally, Miguel’s hacienda is PERFECT! (EGH #4: the Harley hero must show an appreciation for form AND function, thus demonstrating his consideration for others but also that he’s loaded.) Cass’ room is lovely and spacious, her bathroom has fluffy towels, there is a large stable and riding area for horses, the house is nicely landscaped, and he has a housekeeper who delivers Mexican hot chocolate on demand.

On their first morning in Mexico, Cass and Derek have breakfast with Miguel. He tells them about the various kinds of breakfast foods and one of the items on the breakfast menu at Casa Miguel is tacos! This I do not understand. However, one of the many fun things about The Eagle and the Sun is the tasty and exotic foods! (EGH #5: delicious food descriptions add to the appeal!) One of my favorite sounding meals has seafood tacos for an APPETIZER, a fruity alcoholic punch, plus chili con carne for the main course, followed by a tropical fruit salad with tiny shortbread cookies. Yummers!

First on the agenda is a trip to the Ibarra business office. Miguel shows Cass and Derek into the private gem-viewing room. Derek, ever shrewd, notices that the chairs in the room are actually CONNECTED TO THE TABLE. See people, it’s stuff like this that make this book so great. Why wouldn’t there be fold-down chairs connected to a table?! It’s because Miguel’s so smart – there is nothing in the room that can be used as a potential weapon, so Miguel can’t be attacked and then have his jewels stolen (hey, get your mind out of the gutter). (EGH #6: unusual contraptions and strange inventions are ALWAYS appreciated - and very James Bond!)

As Miguel shows off the gems, Derek is being his usual buttface and making sarcastic comments. Cass, being the heroine of this tale, is of course friendly and interested in Miguel’s gem knowledge (just wait until you’re 70 and he won’t shut up about contra luz, lady). Not surprisingly, there is electricity between Cass and Miguel. He leans very near her to show her some extremely rare and beautiful fire opals. Their red color would really go nicely with her hair, as Miguel can attest since he was running his fingers through it. However, the romantic moment is ruined when Derek sets off the alarm on the safe (an accident, he claims).

Next up is a tour of the mines with Miguel’s loyal assistant Benito. Once again, Derek is angling for Most Annoying Supporting Character by griping about the food and just being rude. Cass tries to make up for it by being overly polite. We also get more great food descriptions, this time in Benito’s broken English. The best exchange is when Derek mutters that he thought they’d go get some proper food and Cass says “we are in Mexico – this is proper food”. You tell ‘em!

After this long day of gems, gems and more gems, Benito takes Cass and Derek back to the hacienda where Miguel will meet them later. Back at home, Cass changes into appropriate dinner wear. This might be about the best scene EVER. Get a load of the outfit! A cream sheath dress topped by a chocolate brown BATWING jacket that ties in a floppy bow on one hip. Batwing jacket! I kid you not. This outfit is still talked about to this day by me and my sisters. The Eagle and the Sun has the best outfit descriptions of any Harley I’ve ever read and I’ve read a lot. (EGH #7: the more detailed the outfit descriptions, the funnier the book will be!) The other great thing about Cass’ wardrobe is described earlier. She mainly dresses in shades of cream, fawn and brown with teal or coral accents. “Thus from a few basic pieces she could create many looks”, says Dana James. She also wears her own jewelry, obviously.

Anyway, it’s a good thing Cass is wearing her power outfit, because she’s gonna need it. She goes downstairs and runs into Miguel, still wearing his business suit (which only emphasizes the power in his lean legs, mind you). He’s got a big surprise for her – Teresa, his betrothed!!! (EGH #8: You cannot go wrong with “the other woman” – the bitchier, the better!) Boy, is she a piece of work. It sounds like she dresses like a drag queen and her nail polish always matches her outfits! (Later, she also wears a batwing sweater – 1987 was a good year for batwings.) She’s also young, immature, and super self-centered. To add to the awkwardness, Teresa’s parents, Senor and Senora Morelos, are also there. BUT – that’s not the worst of it! Conniving Derek announced to everyone that he and Cass are ALSO engaged! He senses Miguel’s interest in Cass and he’s about to let the games begin.

At this point, we’re only about halfway through the book AND it’s only been one full day since Cass even got to Mexico. Seriously, this book covers a lot of ground in a short time. Cass and Miguel do get some alone time the next morning, as Cass had agreed to ride horses into the mountains to see the sunrise. There’s a whole lot of weird conversation about the ancient Aztecs, Miguel’s ancestry, etc., which I think is there to show how much Cass understands Miguel (as opposed to Teresa, who’s merely a “spoiled child”, per Miguel). A good example of the differences between the two women is their reactions to Miguel’s beloved horse, Diablo. Cass of course notices how beautiful and majestic the horse is, while the first thing Teresa says about him is how much money he’s worth. Cass wonders “did she only see things in terms of their value?” - I’m telling you, it’s all black and white in this book.

Things get more uncomfortable during the next couple of days at the hacienda – Derek is a big fat liar and starts telling the Moreloses all kinds of bad stuff about Cass, and they make her life miserable. Meanwhile, there’s a fiesta coming up in San Miguel, where the Ibarras happen to have another house, and everyone decides to go. Not surprisingly, the house in San Miguel is pretty much perfect too. The best part about it is that there’s a pool, and Miguel the conscientious host has provided an assortment of swimsuits for his guests that aren’t prepared. Who does that?! Besides the fictional Miguel Ibarra, that is. Plus, who knows who wore that suit previously! It could’ve been Benito for all we know.

Naturally, Cass does not have any appropriate fiesta wear, and she’s already shown off her batwing jacket. Teresa offers to take her shopping for something. But lest you think she’s changed her tune, she constantly steers Cass towards the hideous dresses that will make her look terrible, such as the flouncy yellow number with red flowers that reminded Cass of dollops of tomato sauce over huge acres of scrambled eggs. (EGH #9: Make sure the other woman tries to undermine the heroine with some fake sweetness.) However, Cass knows what’s up and finds a lovely but simple turquoise dress with some frills and cream lace that makes her look radiant.

Come fiesta time, Cass throws on her frock and heads downstairs where she runs into Miguel. He is in an old-style Mexican cowboy outfit with black fitted breeches and a black short jacket and let me just say, he looks H-O-T-T. He is planning on riding his horse in the parade with the other cowboys. This also leads to a moment of snootiness from Teresa, who can’t figure out why he’d want to pretend to be one of those loser cowboys. ANYWAY, the finally all walk into town where the magic of the fiesta begins to change their lives.

Miguel takes off to get ready for the parade, while Cass wanders around with the rest of the group (who all kind of hate her, don’t forget). But with all the music and people dancing, Cass gets caught up in the spell of the fiesta and loses everyone. Suddenly she is being ogled by gross drunk old men and one of them grabs at her. She sees Miguel in the distance, looking foxy on his horse, and starts yelling for him. Miraculously, he hears her and breaks out of formation and hoists her up on the horse. (EGH #10: He’s a HERO for a reason! Dashing theatrics make readers SWOON!)

He takes Cass back to the hacienda and there’s a moment when you think Cass will just tell him that she loves him already, but she doesn’t. She assumes that since he’s engaged to Teresa, their love can never be. Just then, Derek, Teresa and the elder Moreloses come back and Teresa yells at Cass for ruining everything. She whines some more about how she’ll never be married and Miguel agrees, it’s time to settle the wedding business. Cass is beside herself with grief, but manages to properly congratulate Teresa (who bitchily refuses her congratulations). She then heads up to her room and cries like a little girl.

Well, I’m not going to ruin the end for you, you’re just going to have to read it yourself. And lest you think that you already know what happens throughout the rest of the book, I’ve barely cracked the surface here. I can’t do justice to the descriptions of food, clothes, dialogue, Miguel’s home and the Official Ibarra Transportation (I’ll just say that matching helicopters and Range Rovers are involved). Before I forget, the other hilarious thing about this book is the use of italics for dramatic emphasis. One time I went through and underlined all the italic words and phrases in the book (I did not count italicized foreign words, like “hacienda”) and there were a LOT. There will be a separate post about those because there are just too many to mention.

So, this long recap ought to really inspire you to read The Eagle and the Sun. It is Dana James’ shining moment, and the fire opal in the solitaire ring of Harlequins. Once you start reading it, you won’t be able to put it down! Unless it’s to stop and get a taco.