By popular demand - Heartland review!

Tuesday, January 30, 2007

Ah, the comics. Who would've thought that those funnies in the daily paper could be the backdrop for a heart-wrenching romance? Bethany Campbell, that's who! This 1987 classic delves into the life (and love life!) of the syndicate cartoonist – something we can all relate to, no doubt! It’s a fun one – read on for scoop!

We first meet Toby “Italian Scallion” Moranti in New Jersey, a worker bee at Fantod Studios with a major jones for Jake “Crankypants” Ulrick. After all, Ulrick is her hero – he does the strip Heartland, the best daily strip to come along in the last 25 years, at least according to her co-worker Hank. The descriptions of Heartland are pretty funny – it sounds like Campbell really enjoyed Bloom County in the mid-80’s and modeled it after that. Takes place in a small town, animals talk to humans, unique artistic style, etc. But instead of a penguin oddly placed in the Midwest, we have a kangaroo. ANYWAY, Toby works on two boring comic strips, but dreams of having her own strip and really being something. First of all, her own strip is called "Taffy", which should indicate that maybe she needs to work a little harder. Seriously. Apparently, young Toby is uber-talented, but she should be working on a much more challenging strip.

Handy, then, that Jake injures his hand in a horse riding accident, and needs an assistant that can draw as well as he can. Long story short, Toby gets the job and heads to the small town of Zion Bluff, Nebraska – in “true terror” according to the book. See, Jake’s one of those “difficult” artists, and is notorious for working alone. He doesn’t want this assistant, but Heartland’s a big money maker, so he’s stuck with her.

Naturally, Jake makes Toby’s life hellish – she works long hours, six days a week, and Jake is extremely critical of her and her work. Jake doesn’t like long hair? He makes Toby put hers in a ponytail. Toby’s perfume is too strong? Well, she’d better take a shower at lunch! And so on. He also thinks she’s a terrible artist (so why’d you hire her, genius?) and constantly berates her. My favorite negative comment is: “Sharper highlights in those eyes. I use the old-fashioned ‘pie-slice’ highlights, in case you haven’t noticed.” Mmmm, pie.

Despite his oafishness, the sparks fly between Jake and Toby. She alternates between hating the bastard and ogling him in his sleeveless sweatshirts. He seems to have no redeeming qualities at all, but of course he’s just misunderstood.

The action really heats up when Zion Bluff has its’ annual Founder’s Day celebration, where Toby is quite surprised to see how charming and pleasant Jake is with the townspeople. Now what’s up with that? However, he is still a cad to Toby, pretending that she’s more than just an assistant when the older ladies in town want to set up their daughters/nieces/chunky relatives with the eligible bachelor. Toby’s upset by this, but allows it anyway. She’s a little spineless, that one. Jake’s just bitter, because those women wouldn’t give him the time of day when he was a poor kid with dead parents. Then Jake’s housekeeper comes by and drops the bomb that Denise is at the picnic. Who’s Denise? She’s the ex-girlfriend, who is apparently so smashingly beautiful and elegant one can hardly look at her without going blind. She is also a money-grubbing ho.

Things get so awkward at Founder’s Day that Toby finally insists on getting the heck out of Dodge, so Jake gives in. Like an idiot, he assumes it’s just so she can freshen up, but no, she’s done with that picnic. He comes into her bedroom to take her back to the party, but she says no way, dude. She had been happily working on her comic strip (remember Taffy?) so he asks to see it. Unwillingly, she hands him the sketchbook. He pretty much tears it apart (but only because he knows she can do better, of course – see how much he cares for her?). They exchange heated words and she starts crying. Angrily, Jake stalks out and goes back to the celebration in town. This scene is actually pretty funny.

The situation reaches a new level of depressing when Denise moves in! She is bitchy, but in a very boring way (she’s certainly no match for Theresa in The Eagle and the Sun). However, her arrival is necessary as it sets off the important chain of events which lead to the exciting conclusion of Heartland!

I must say, I enjoy Heartland even though it can be a tad frustrating. Jake is really quite unlikeable and sometimes I wanted to reach into the pages and grab Toby by the neck and tell her to wake up. I have to give Bethany some credit though - you can really feel the gloom in Zion Bluff and when the inevitable happy conclusion comes, it’s like the storm clouds have lifted. Sure, there’s a lot of cheese with Jakes whine, but it’s delicious cheese!